Rhythm of Life

26/06/2014

A week off from chemo and work has done me the world of good. The clutter has gone from my head and I feel like I have the 'zing' back. This will aid me in moving forward onto the final four chemos I'm sure.

This week has been about recuperating so when I have felt like rest/sleep, I have done just that. I might have got up at 9 and been back in bed at 11, up at 1 and then back at 5. If that is what the body is telling me then I have listened. It is so good to take the foot off the pedal (I am known for having a 'lead foot') and just go cruise mode.

The fall out from chemo last week is that I have ended up with mouth ulcers and diarrhea. Trying out baking soda for the mouth ulcers. A friend brought round aloe vera juice and that has certainly calmed down the digestive rumblings. Great thinking Ann!

It often goes through my mind how do people in war ravished countries, with lack of food and medical intervention, cope with cancer, or children who can't understand or describe their sickness, their pain. I am in such a privileged position to be in a country where everything is at my disposal to get me through this. To not have peace around me, to imagine hearing a bomb going off just over the other side of town, to not have food or water; I do wonder how I drew the lucky straw to be in NZ.

I'm thinking that in the back of your mind you may have a question about sex/intimacy. Don't worry, I'm not about to divulge anything about our sex life, but I think it is something to be educated about as when I had a query I rang our cancer medical team who had no idea and had never been asked the question put to them before. Does that mean people don't have sex while on chemo or are they too afraid to ask the question. So I had to consult Dr Google and came up with the following:

"It is not known for sure whether or not there is a risk that chemotherapy drugs can be passed on through semen or secretions from the vagina. But it has been suggested that chemotherapy can get into vaginal fluids. Because of this doctors advise people to use a barrier method of contraception, such as condoms, if you have intercourse while you are having chemotherapy treatment.

This advice is only for the time you are actually having the treatment and for about a week after your treatment. After this time any chemotherapy will have left your body. The advice is the same for oral sex and intimate kissing, where body fluids pass between people. This advice is the same whether it is the man or the woman being treated".

Of course it's not just sex but intimacy that is essential to stay connected. 

So:

• to have a blanket placed over me when I am resting on the couch 
• to have a candle lit bath run for me
• to drop everything and get my latest craving
• to play and sing to me while I rest and let the tears flow
• to take my hand, place a kiss and say "I love you my bald frog"

I couldn't ask for more from this husband of mine. He has "manned up", taken care of me unconditionally and is here for me 120%. I know I am truly loved and blessed.

I am hopeless at reading the bible and understanding what is being said. But this week I opened my bible and said right, I'm listening Lord, tell me what you want me to hear:
Jeremiah 31:3-4 "I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving-kindness, I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt. Again you will take your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful". The theologians amongst us will have the real interpretation behind this, but to me it spoke volumes.

This week I believe I am being rebuilt and I am going out to dance again and be joyful.

Thanks this week:

My angel neighbour - Grab One Taupo Coffee Plus vouchers

Colleagues arrived with Chelsea bun - mission accomplished
Ex colleague offer of holiday Waihi
Acquaintance - trout
Friend - wool, aloe vera juices, muffins

Knitting for the premature born
babies at Rotorua Hospital