Facebook says this about the 'Like' button: "The Like buttons lets you show your friends when you're interested in something".
Well you know what it means to me when you 'like' my post? It says "I hear you. I'm sorry for what you are going through. I am here to support and encourage you". That is what I believe and again you lift me so thank you. Not everyone can comment because it is hard to know what to say. Thank you to those who do. My cousins are especially forthcoming in their comments (must be the Bollen trait eh cuzzies) so thank you dear ones. But most of all thank you just for stopping by and reading. It isn't easy to stay strong and upbeat day after day. I'm blessed to be born with a pretty happy disposition so it takes energy for me to stay down for long unless medically induced (chemo).
As you may know I had round 3 this week. Yay, one more AC 'Cosmopolitan' cocktail to go on 20/5/14 and then we can tick the hard stuff into touch and go for hopefully a nice 'Pinot Gris' to finish off. I'm thinking chemo should be over by August.
Wayne was wise to get me to drive over to the appointment. Ever since we bought a Mini back in 2007 I have so loved driving again. Of course the Mini has gone but the love of driving like I am in a Mini is still there. So I hoon-ed it to Rotorua and embraced the control I had over my life for 45 minutes, if you get my gist. I put "Bodies hit the floor" CD on and screamed my way through that song. It will become an anthem I'm sure.
Well you know what it means to me when you 'like' my post? It says "I hear you. I'm sorry for what you are going through. I am here to support and encourage you". That is what I believe and again you lift me so thank you. Not everyone can comment because it is hard to know what to say. Thank you to those who do. My cousins are especially forthcoming in their comments (must be the Bollen trait eh cuzzies) so thank you dear ones. But most of all thank you just for stopping by and reading. It isn't easy to stay strong and upbeat day after day. I'm blessed to be born with a pretty happy disposition so it takes energy for me to stay down for long unless medically induced (chemo).
As you may know I had round 3 this week. Yay, one more AC 'Cosmopolitan' cocktail to go on 20/5/14 and then we can tick the hard stuff into touch and go for hopefully a nice 'Pinot Gris' to finish off. I'm thinking chemo should be over by August.
Wayne was wise to get me to drive over to the appointment. Ever since we bought a Mini back in 2007 I have so loved driving again. Of course the Mini has gone but the love of driving like I am in a Mini is still there. So I hoon-ed it to Rotorua and embraced the control I had over my life for 45 minutes, if you get my gist. I put "Bodies hit the floor" CD on and screamed my way through that song. It will become an anthem I'm sure.
I had a chair with a view this time and my nurse was Andrew from Shropshire. These nurses are beautiful people. They have a special empathy and compassion with their patients.
I had a portacath inserted at the time of my breast surgery. In medicine, a port is a small medical appliance that is installed beneath the skin. A catheter connects the port to a vein. Under the skin, the port has a septum through which drugs can be injected and blood samples can be drawn many times, usually with less discomfort for the patient than a more typical "needle stick". How glad am I that I this was suggested to me from a woman I spoke to in the street who had been through treatment. A throw away comment but one which has proved its worth.
I had a portacath inserted at the time of my breast surgery. In medicine, a port is a small medical appliance that is installed beneath the skin. A catheter connects the port to a vein. Under the skin, the port has a septum through which drugs can be injected and blood samples can be drawn many times, usually with less discomfort for the patient than a more typical "needle stick". How glad am I that I this was suggested to me from a woman I spoke to in the street who had been through treatment. A throw away comment but one which has proved its worth.
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| This is me after operation in February still in hospital. Portacath fitted at time of lumpectomy but they can do it under a local now |
I watched Andrew attempt to administer through a vein in the hand to a big strapping Maori guy and it was agony. Andrew soaked his hand in warm water (I presume) to bring the vein up and then tried to find the vein. It wasn't pleasant to watch but Andrew did an amazing job. The Maori guy looked and me and I at him and my heart went out to him and his pain.
As the meds took over, I basically started to doze and sleep. So my plan to head to work Wednesday and Thursday as per the previous two times went by the board and I slept, drank and wee-ed my way through the next 36 hours. Last time I didn't keep my fluids up enough due to taste buds deserting me and I think that was part of my spiral so this time Wayne and I were determined to keep my fluid intake up this time. I am eating what I feel like and as per in the past when I want to eat, I need to eat now! Wayne is great at dropping everything and going with the flow of his crazy steroid induced wife.
So all in all, not a bad week so far. Each treatment is managed accordingly and I think as a team, Wayne and I are pretty unbeatable. We are working so well together.
Just wanted to drop this poem in here today. It is my favourite. It has just been released as a children's book by Mati McDonough and I have bought it to put aside for my first grandchild if/when he/she arrives...it's a "just in case" I'm not here but I want the little one to know they were in my heart already at this moment, on this day....
[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]
BY E. E. CUMMINGS
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
I fear
no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
As the meds took over, I basically started to doze and sleep. So my plan to head to work Wednesday and Thursday as per the previous two times went by the board and I slept, drank and wee-ed my way through the next 36 hours. Last time I didn't keep my fluids up enough due to taste buds deserting me and I think that was part of my spiral so this time Wayne and I were determined to keep my fluid intake up this time. I am eating what I feel like and as per in the past when I want to eat, I need to eat now! Wayne is great at dropping everything and going with the flow of his crazy steroid induced wife.
So all in all, not a bad week so far. Each treatment is managed accordingly and I think as a team, Wayne and I are pretty unbeatable. We are working so well together.
Just wanted to drop this poem in here today. It is my favourite. It has just been released as a children's book by Mati McDonough and I have bought it to put aside for my first grandchild if/when he/she arrives...it's a "just in case" I'm not here but I want the little one to know they were in my heart already at this moment, on this day....
[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]
BY E. E. CUMMINGS
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
I fear
no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
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