Yesterday we had a visit to my new oncologist - well actually it was the oncology registrar we saw - Prashed from India. First thing Wayne asks "Done any match fixing lately"? Needless to say, we got on well!
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| Another chemo done |
During the week I had requested and got my medical notes from my surgeon - 50 pages. I wanted to be prepared in case the registrar/oncologist didn't have all the information in front of him (which is what I heard had happened to another patient). So I had a bit of reading to do.
How fascinating and mind blowing to read all about how they came to the decisions they did about my diagnosis, how the operation was performed, where I am going with treatment, and best outcome. Something they hadn't told me about though and I read in my notes was that I have got some 'glass ground nodules' in my lungs which they are going to CT scan when treatment over. They don't seem too concerned but will check out anyway.
I was quite encouraged to read and I do believe they are doing everything they can to get me well and clear of cancer. I may be naive in putting that much trust in the health system, but I have no other choice and I have peace of mind and spirit with that decision.
The registrar was pleased with how I am travelling with the AC 'Cosmopolitan cocktail' and believes the lighter treatments will be easy. I'm praying so too.
We are reducing the steroids so Wayne can 'bring out the knives' again and the Community Night Owls can go and check out another suburb as the streets of Nukuhau are safe again from the threat of a mad woman running through them at 2am.
We left the registrar and cancer nurse in fits of laughter so it was a happy visit.
On arriving back to Taupo our car broke down again. I believe we had an angel with us to get us there and back before the inevitable. Really hoping we can get to the bottom of this recurring problem.
It's been a good week. I have handled work well. Wayne and I are working well as a team though I can see there are definite days when the strain is etched on his brow. Please remember him too, lovely people. As he said today, it's so hard watching someone you love with little energy and suffering after chemo treatment and there is nothing you can do. I feel for him as he doesn't deserve this pain. He is a good, kind, talented human being looking out for his loved one and I ask for prayers and support for him too.
Good news which brightened my day. The woman I wrote of last week who told me she is terminal and you may recall she wanted to go on a train trip - well it's happening. We saw her today and she looked so excited and so happy because her husband and her are off on a train trip down the South Island. She has something to look forward to and the excitement over her face was pure joy. She also told me that she had arranged her funeral and had been into 'My Music Store' and found the song she wanted.
How fascinating and mind blowing to read all about how they came to the decisions they did about my diagnosis, how the operation was performed, where I am going with treatment, and best outcome. Something they hadn't told me about though and I read in my notes was that I have got some 'glass ground nodules' in my lungs which they are going to CT scan when treatment over. They don't seem too concerned but will check out anyway.
I was quite encouraged to read and I do believe they are doing everything they can to get me well and clear of cancer. I may be naive in putting that much trust in the health system, but I have no other choice and I have peace of mind and spirit with that decision.
The registrar was pleased with how I am travelling with the AC 'Cosmopolitan cocktail' and believes the lighter treatments will be easy. I'm praying so too.
We are reducing the steroids so Wayne can 'bring out the knives' again and the Community Night Owls can go and check out another suburb as the streets of Nukuhau are safe again from the threat of a mad woman running through them at 2am.
We left the registrar and cancer nurse in fits of laughter so it was a happy visit.
On arriving back to Taupo our car broke down again. I believe we had an angel with us to get us there and back before the inevitable. Really hoping we can get to the bottom of this recurring problem.
It's been a good week. I have handled work well. Wayne and I are working well as a team though I can see there are definite days when the strain is etched on his brow. Please remember him too, lovely people. As he said today, it's so hard watching someone you love with little energy and suffering after chemo treatment and there is nothing you can do. I feel for him as he doesn't deserve this pain. He is a good, kind, talented human being looking out for his loved one and I ask for prayers and support for him too.
Good news which brightened my day. The woman I wrote of last week who told me she is terminal and you may recall she wanted to go on a train trip - well it's happening. We saw her today and she looked so excited and so happy because her husband and her are off on a train trip down the South Island. She has something to look forward to and the excitement over her face was pure joy. She also told me that she had arranged her funeral and had been into 'My Music Store' and found the song she wanted.
I came across an article today about empathy and I am going to share it with you:
The Power of Empathy:
So what is empathy and why is it very different than sympathy. Empathy fuels connection.
Sympathy drives disconnection.
Qualities of empathy:
- perspective taking - ability to take the perspective of another person or recognise their perspective as their truth
- staying out of judgment
- recognising emotion in other people then communicating that
Think of empathy as a kind of sacred place. It's like for example when someone is in a deep hole and they shout from the bottom "I'm stuck, it's dark, I'm overwhelmed" and we look and we say "I know what it's like down there and you're not alone". Sympathy is like "Ooh, it's bad huh, do you want a sandwich"?
Empathy is a choice and it's a vulnerable choice because in order to connect with the other person you have to connect with something in yourself that knows that feeling. Rarely if ever does an empathetic response begin with "At least..." eg "I've got breast cancer", "At least it's the better cancer to get" and we do it all the time. Someone has just shared something with you that is incredibly painful and we try to put a silver lining around it. One of the things we do sometimes in the face of very difficult conversations is we try to make things better. What makes something better is connection.
I have been guilty of this for sure, and also Wayne and my sick sense of humour covers up a lot of the "we're okay" persona. I realised that I actually did this and said this when I spoke to my terminal friend last week. I said exactly these words "I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry". I could only say this because I dug deep into my vulnerable self, dug up that feeling of connection and expressed it. I witnessed my big 6'6' male Maori colleague say this to me weeks back and it still touches me when I recall that moment. It is something that each of you have said to me at some point. I
I thank you for 'digging deep'. I ask you continue to connect with others as well in just the empathetic way you have with me because it is such a blessing for the receiver.
Thanks this week:
- neighbours brought yummy pumpkin soup
- Friend for ringing me with comfort and prayers
- Neighbours for letting me share the crazy madness and happiness that is Ruby (their dog)
- Wayne for cooking 3 yummy crockpot meals this week!
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