10/10/2014
I was not looking forward to being away from home and Wayne. I will be honest and say I thought I might have a heart attack on the radiation treatment bed because the cancer that was in my breast was over the top of my heart. So knowing my luck, but hey, here I am.
I have started on my hormone meds Letrasole and the odd hot flush has started. Had nothing like this went I went through my menopause. My period just stopped in December 2012 and no symptoms at all. Now I am feeling the heat.
The treatment is going well. There was no need to worry. The staff have accommodated me so well by scheduling my appointments about 3pm most days so I leave from work about 1ish, grab a yummy sandwich from Countdown next door to the station, eat in the car park and then head to the hospital.
Remembering my floor and colour of where I have parked Hazel is a test each day. It's a bit like the movie Groundhog Day - what floor am I on today C10 blue or C7 Orange? I am now helping others when they get in the lifts to where they need to go. With those puzzled looks on their faces, you just have to help.
When I arrive at reception I hand in my yellow appointment card for the Yellow Machine. I then have my own personal blue gown ready for me. It's blue tops for breast radiation and blue bottoms for prostrate.
It takes a good half hour to measure me up to be in the right placement on the bed. I have a block on my diaphragm that is lined up with a camera in the ceiling. That way they can see my breathing on their screen at their workstation and when I have reached the mark, they can zap away. They set the measurements, the staff then leave and you hear the doorbell ringing as they make their way down to their safe haven behind screens.
Then a voice comes over the microphone "Deep breath when you're ready and hold". Now it is a wee bit tricky remembering how much breath you took in when they measured you but 95% of the time I hit the mark. I hold my breath for 22 seconds and then 7 seconds while they do the clavicle area, then 7 seconds and 3 seconds, then a change to the lymph nodes between my breasts and have a 12 second burst and then another 3 seconds. Then that's it. "And relax". As I say the longest part is measuring up. I am the only one they are treating using the breathing technique at present. Trust me to be special. Hence we are hoping for goggles and technology to catch up next week.
Then it's back to the car park and the right floor, and a bit of the 'Italian Job' as I drive down the ramps. Because Hazel is so compact, I can zoom down, much to the horror of oncoming traffic. Only had one lady yell abuse!
Back at the lodge it's time for a zzzz before tea. Dinner has been veges, beef, pork or chicken; dessert is cheesecake, chocolate mousse and fruit. Time to stop the desserts I think.
We all tend to find a free seat and join a table. It is so liberating to talk about life and death, and what cancer we each have, how each one has had cancer discovered, what treatments they are having. Many have had accidents (eg. falling of a bike, changing a lightbulb and falling of chair, hit in the chest with a ball to name a few) and then found they have cancer. If they hadn't had the accident it could have been too late. What does surprise me though is how many wander off down to the gate for their smoke, yes, they are still smoking.
There are a few common phrases that we all agreed we didn't want to hear again and the number 1 phrase is...dah dah..."Just stay positive, you'll be fine".
It's impossible to stay positive all the time and I can't. Do you think all those cancer patients who are now dead thought negatively? I didn't cause it by negative thinking, by eating too many potato chips when I was 12, by sitting in the sun, or by not exercising. It just happened for me due to menopause. I can be positive in spirit but that won't cure my cancer. Neither will being negative kill me. It's not my fault. Never deny a cancer patient reality, whether you agree with it or not. When all else fails, what do you say to a person who has cancer? "I'm sorry". Just a handy hint I needed to share that has come out of this week.
I just have to say I was "appreciated" twice this week, one by a kerb crawler n Hamilton and one at The Vine...must be the grey hair!!
So I'm home now for the weekend. I must rest up, take things quietly. Better get that tattooed somewhere I think.
My happy place to remind me of home |
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