Round 11

28/08/2014

Round 11 chemo - done! Am I excited or what about next Thursday. I just wish I could have chemo again today to get it all over and done with. 

What a contrast from last week at the chemo unit to this week. Last week there was a queue for one of the 11 chairs. This week we only filled three chairs - people had been sent home because they had infections or their bloods were too low. 

One of the processes I might have not mentioned before is that the day before chemo you get your bloods taken and the results have to be at the unit within two hours so they can assess whether your white blood count is too low to receive chemo. Mine have sat around on average 2.1-2.3. They won't do chemo if the reading is 1 or below without oncologist direction. Then the unit are meant to ring and say don't come. Well we know that doesn't always happen as we have seen people arrive only to be told go take another test now and if still not up you are going home. Pretty frustrating for those who have travelled I would imagine.

Another thing I learned yesterday is that they won't remove my portacath for 6-12 months after chemo stops - just in case. That they can now insert a portacath under a local, no general anaesthetic now, so I'm assuming they will remove it under local the same way.

Wayne always brings his guitar into the hospital as he won't leave it in the car. (He has the obligatory trip to the Rock Shop during my treatment.). This week the staff asked for a song so it became a rather rowdy 20 minutes. Lots of laughter and joy in the unit today - and no process hiccups. Elaine the head nurse was back so think everyone was back on track and focused, even if they were having a good singalong. Elaine requested 'Smelly Cat" (Phoebe / Friends) and Elaine certainly 'sang' it well!

After a quick check of the Op Shop in Rotorua (thanks Trish J) and managing to buy $10 Molly N shoes - boom - it was home to bed. Then the craving...tonight, custard. So down to the shop and custard was bought. Posted on Facebook and the next thing I find all these custard lovers coming out the woodwork. Who mentioned steam pudding and custard...yum again!

Had the Epsom salts bath for detoxifying, woke every two hours but no early morning munchies this time.

So another easy round. I wonder if they are easing off the dosage and strength - like a withdrawal - from the chemo. Don't know.  Though I have slept for four hours this afternoon.

While I was at the unit I read an article in the 'North & South' magazine about the Christchurch earthquake and the psychological effects now four years down the track. 

A Dr Lucy D'Aeth wrote about adapting/accepting what is and I found it quite valid for where I am at now. She said:

"To have the ability to prepare and plan for, absorb, recover from, or more successfully adapt to adverse effects. Adapt = the acceptance there's no returning to the old kind of normal".

As you can tell from this and previous blogs, I still long for my old normal, but reading this has helped me realise that I will adapt (as I have in these last eight months) and my new normal will arise out of all this.

I walked past the Cancer Daffodil Day stand today and it brought back memories of when my sister, Jan, was diagnosed with breast cancer five years ago. 

We were living in Whangarei and I just had to buy the cancer teddy bear because of what she was going through. It feels like that hit me harder then of what she was going through than it does for what I am going through today. I couldn't quite attach myself that I am now in that same situation. I was so sad for my sister and yet I am over feeling sad for me. Is that because my new 'normal' has started?

I also had a lovely lady come up to me today, who is an acquaintance, and she broke down in tears and hugged me not once, but twice. I felt so sorry for her that she was sad. Sometimes all one needs is a hug and to hear them say 'I'm sorry for what you have to go through'.

Today my heart goes out
- to those who have loved ones who are losing the fight, are feeling the pain, and are grieving
- for those of us who are still in the midst of treatment and are walking with faith, love, support, courage - and let's not forget modern medicine
- to those who have made it through treatment and are rejoicing that they got through a season in their life and now walk a new 'normal'

Thanks this week:
A friend's generous heart
Skype my new friend in Sweden who is as mad as me

PS: my daughter-in-law Christine is back from USA safe and sound.