Birthday Week

22/08/2014

Wow, a week of no chemo...just bliss. And of course I had a birthday to celebrate too.

So lovely having Luke Welten home and to get the chance to listen to him speak from his heart (as well as throw snowballs at him). Greg, the woollen alpaca, arrived and is up to too much mischief. 

Missing our Christine Welten
 who is in the USA - lucky!!

This week:
- Feel like I accomplished something at work by putting in some good hours. 
- My hair is growing back super fast. 
- I have been having Epsom salt bath which has resulted in me having a better sleeping pattern and wondering if that is helping with detoxifying the chemo out of my body (I read somewhere it helps). When you lie in bed at night with your mind not stopping for a breather and all you want to do is switch off, achieving total body sleep is amazing.

The only down side for the last 10 days is a really sore mouth ulcer. Chemotherapy and radiation — alone or combined — can cause mouth sores. That's because these cancer treatments are intended to kill rapidly growing cells — such as cancer cells. Some healthy cells in your body also divide and grow rapidly, including the cells that line the inside of your mouth. Unfortunately these healthy cells are also damaged by chemotherapy and radiation. Damage to the cells in your mouth makes it difficult for your mouth to heal itself and to fend off germs, leading to sores and infections. I had to buy some baby's Bonjela but even that isn't really helping. Just have to bear it I guess.

With a week off chemo the 'other side' kicks in - the mental and emotional stuff. I realise with only two chemo treatments to go that I'm over this cancer experience and with that comes the realisation that so must all of you guys who read this blog. 

Marion

Marion from the Look Good Feel Better workshop passed away this week from cancer. It hits home when you have come together under trying circumstances and have instantly created a common bond. I would often chat to her at her work. She worked at Pak N Save and on her bucket list was a train ride. She never got to do that and that makes me sad.

I try, I really do try, to keep myself upbeat. When I head home at the end of the day I am so fortunate that I can just blob on the couch and either drift away with escapism on the TV, look at the beauty around me through the 365 Project I belong to, research more about breast cancer or go into that dark hole. 

There are nights I go into that dark hole and it's not a good place to be and no one can come with me. It's just me being self centred and looking at self preservation at how am I going to continue to conquer this unforgivable disease.

Then something awesome happens, like a surprise visit or a text or Facebook message arrives, or Wayne comes home with a chocolate sundae, and I realise that I am not alone unless I choose to be. There are times I want to reach out to you guys and then I withdraw. I don't want you to see my vulnerability.

So I have my hero - Wayne. How he does it day after day I don't know. One thing I have learnt is that he does a far better cleaning of the bathroom and toilet than I will ever do! He rubs my feet or strokes my pixie hair after a long day at his work, he let's me sleep for hours, he takes me on a date every Saturday, he makes black humour jokes and tells me he loves me daily. Not only does he tell me but he shows me. I am so blessed to have this man by my side.

So chemo on Thursday ...

Thanks this week to you all for my wonderful birthday wishes.

Snow fight after birthday celebration at the Bayview Chateau, NZ