As I sat down outside Whitcoulls to eat my lunch and watch the world go by, our local busker started playing and he sang straight to my heart strings; a good ole Ronan Keating number "When you say nothing at all", Van Morrison "Have I told you lately that I love you", Eric Clapton "You look wonderful tonight". It was a concert for one because no one else was sitting out in the cold.
It's about "living in the moment". I have read and heard that phrase in a few articles I have read this week as I try to lift myself up. Easy to say and I am finding harder to do as the energy levels go up and down.
When I first got diagnosed I know I did that - lived in the moment - everything took on a brighter, crisper meaning and I was reflective of all the love and kindness around me. Wayne and I are still overwhelmed how the kindness keeps on coming and my friends and family keep on giving.
This week my "living in the moment" was having my son home. We went to our favourite cafe, Coffee Plus, and Luke says "So Mum, how's life"? Love it! We talked about life, death, mortality, future dreams, love and faith, over coffee and cake. Nothing like a deep and meaningful moment created right there. It warms my heart to hear Luke speak with his words of wisdom, compassion, gentle spirit and hope. He has a lot to contribute to this world and with Christine by his side, they will make a difference in people's lives.
I also had a visit from a dear friend who asked me "what is it like this cancer, what is treatment like, what's the future hold". When I started to answer I realised how much I have learnt and am learning about the cancer, the process, my reality and myself.
This week has been an "up" week in terms of treatment and I started to feel physically more like my old self. And then in crept the awareness that next week a new chemo treatment is starting (CMF). This is the lighter dose (my Pinot Gris) and it should be easier on my peripheral neuropathy (I have in my feet) - Dr Link promised me. I have treatment on Tuesday and then seven days later another dose with a two week gap.
I have to admit there is a bit of trepidation with the new regime, just because it is that, new. I am yet to find out if the rest will be administered the same.
Wayne made the observation to me this week that with each one I have reacted differently, both physically and emotionally, and on reflection he is right:
1. Pretty damn easy. Back at work the next day
2. Stopped drinking as taste buds went and nothing tasted right so didn't flush chemo out effectively hence tired, nauseous
3. Steroid high - hide the knives (still haven't found them so I must have done something with them)
4. Tired, over it, "stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone" - WH Auden
The aftermath of chemo for me:
So off we go again - are you coming along for the ride?? Let's see what we make of this next process.
Acts of kindness and big thank yous this week - I am truly blessed:
 |
| A concert for one |
When I first got diagnosed I know I did that - lived in the moment - everything took on a brighter, crisper meaning and I was reflective of all the love and kindness around me. Wayne and I are still overwhelmed how the kindness keeps on coming and my friends and family keep on giving.
This week my "living in the moment" was having my son home. We went to our favourite cafe, Coffee Plus, and Luke says "So Mum, how's life"? Love it! We talked about life, death, mortality, future dreams, love and faith, over coffee and cake. Nothing like a deep and meaningful moment created right there. It warms my heart to hear Luke speak with his words of wisdom, compassion, gentle spirit and hope. He has a lot to contribute to this world and with Christine by his side, they will make a difference in people's lives.
 |
| A reduction in pre meds had me wondering. Note no wig - soon gave up and accepted how I looked |
I also had a visit from a dear friend who asked me "what is it like this cancer, what is treatment like, what's the future hold". When I started to answer I realised how much I have learnt and am learning about the cancer, the process, my reality and myself.
This week has been an "up" week in terms of treatment and I started to feel physically more like my old self. And then in crept the awareness that next week a new chemo treatment is starting (CMF). This is the lighter dose (my Pinot Gris) and it should be easier on my peripheral neuropathy (I have in my feet) - Dr Link promised me. I have treatment on Tuesday and then seven days later another dose with a two week gap.
I have to admit there is a bit of trepidation with the new regime, just because it is that, new. I am yet to find out if the rest will be administered the same.
Wayne made the observation to me this week that with each one I have reacted differently, both physically and emotionally, and on reflection he is right:
1. Pretty damn easy. Back at work the next day
2. Stopped drinking as taste buds went and nothing tasted right so didn't flush chemo out effectively hence tired, nauseous
3. Steroid high - hide the knives (still haven't found them so I must have done something with them)
4. Tired, over it, "stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone" - WH Auden
 |
| a dose of the munchies |
The aftermath of chemo for me:
- is the nausea is like being pregnant so to combat that eat dry crackers little and often, gingernuts and ginger tea
- I feel like I have got a lump of concrete working its way down through my body for about five days - when it is "released" oh the relief!
- major stomach spasms which are like Braxton Hicks and I just have to wait for them to pass
- my nose has ulcers up inside (the hairs have gone) so nose is very tender
- steroids and sleep do not go well together
So off we go again - are you coming along for the ride?? Let's see what we make of this next process.
Acts of kindness and big thank yous this week - I am truly blessed:
- bus ticket for Luke
- The Eagles ticket
- Lunch out
- Cash to help create and reflect on a memory
- Friend visit and chocolate cake
- Friend visit and something "yellow"
- Cousin - dinner at Siam Thai and a pretty pink cyclamen
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| Living in the moment and watching fishermen spending time with Wayne and being close to water |
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