10 day upper on the way

13/05/2014

So my 10 day 'downer' is over and I am on the 10 day 'upper' before the next chemo. Well that's how it feels to me anyway.

Thankfully I managed to keep the taste buds working by getting some Listerine (although it just about blew the back of my head off as Wayne got me the alcohol one). I'm guessing this has helped as drinking water and whatever else has been quite easy this time.

My only note of concern really was the steroids and the crazy brain. I actually woke at 2am, wanted to get into my dressing gown and run - anyone who knows me knows I don't do running - run through the streets of Nukuhau, like Forrest Gump. Then the next thing was I'm thinking to myself "better tell Wayne to hide the knives. I feel like I might do so something irrational". Poor Wayne, don't think he is sleeping much nowadays.

Yep, hide the knives Wayne

Then there was the trip to A&E. I had 'new' pain that reared its head and felt like it was in my chest cavity, so phone call to the cancer nurse who said off to A&E and get checked for clots. So after all the tests and x-ray it was reassuring to know cancer wasn't showing up in my ribs. It's all very well doing chemo but you don't know if cancer has already gone somewhere else. Couldn't find the cause and it eventually subsided after 48 hours.

Had a wonderful Mother's Day with my mum, and Luke and Christine at the Mount - one of my favourite places - to be by the sea.

Mother's Day excursion to Mount Maunganui

I met up with a lady from the 'look good feel better' workshop this week. I ran up to her and asked how she was, me all smiles, and then I looked and tears were running down her face. "What's happened" I asked. She said she had done everything right, chemo, radiation, but it had now gone to her liver and she had 6 weeks to 6 months, they didn't know. This darling frail woman was broken and all I could do was hold her. Once her tears subsided I asked "What now"? She said "I want to go on a two day train ride". It seems to me such an achievable easy thing to ask for. I so hope she has a network around her that can make this happen.

So of course gets you thinking again about your own mortality and bucket list. I think my bucket list is pretty simple. If I was terminal I'd be cashing in the life insurance and taking Wayne, Luke and Christine to Paris - easy!

Closer to home - a trip to Queenstown. Oh, and I want to drive a Mini on the West Coast roads. I hear the roads are a dream.

What else...well I hope I've got plenty of time to think up some more.